Question #291

My husband and I were married in California in May 2010. We bought a house in NY State, and currently reside there together, but are separating. He is moving back to California, and I will remain in our home in New York State. We may decide to get a divorce. Where should we file for that once we’re ready? I’ve noticed that New York State requires a separation agreement first. What legal steps should I be thinking about right now? Thank you! 

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Question #301

We live in NJ. I have been with my boyfriend for three years now, and he has been separated, not legally separated, from his wife for about eight years living separate lives but stayed in the same home so they could both raise their three children who are now 9 in school, 15 in school, 19 not in school but works fulltime. He finally moved out a year ago but still has not gone to get things legally processed because he feels terrible for her. She keeps telling him she has no money for a lawyer and that she will get more money as alimony since they are married 20years if he divorces her. So, just keep living separately and keep paying her $600 a month for child support, and that I, the girlfriend, should understand and not force him to divorce her. She texts and calls him throughout every day and not about the children. It’s about personal info and wanting to know where he is and what he’s doing and how his day is as if they are still together. It drives me crazy, and our relationship is taking the heat for it because we always fight about her needing/wanting to stay so involved in his life. He only makes 46k a year, and I think he is paying way too much child support. And now he wanted me to co-sign on a bike loan because his “wife” destroyed his credit. I agreed as long as he signed a Contract Agreement with me, so I don’t get screwed should something happen to our relationship, or him, or me, and write it out that the bike can NOT be used as a dividable martial asset when he finally gets divorced. I was trying to protect myself and us, but he became furious with me. His “wife” claims she will not go after the bike in the divorce. But those are just words, and she already stole and cashed the tax check that they filed joint taxes in 2013 and lied that the check never came until he finally tricked her into confessing it to him last week. I don’t know what to do. I don’t think I was wrong to ask for the Contract Agreement, and I don’t know if that would ever hold up in the divorce or if she can still get 1/2 of it. Also, just asking if his child support is too much he is paying out because between that and rent and his bills he doesn’t even have enough to go grocery shopping for himself every month and it is falling on me to support him while he’s still supporting his “EX” wife. Any advice would greatly help me, PLEASE!!!!

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Question #328

Hello, Not sure if you can offer any solution. My husband and I got married in India. It was an arranged marriage. At the time, he was a resident of NY, and I lived in India. Now both of us are US citizens. We have two children together, one is 23 years, and the other is 11 years. His parents lived with us. I underwent a lot of mental torture at the hands of my husband and his mother. It was only after the birth of my second child and some counseling that I realized I was being abused. I was a well-traveled, socially active person but, over time, became into a person with an inferiority complex. I used to be scared of going back home after work every evening, dreading who would pick a fight that day the husband or the mother. Even though I worked full time and made the maximum income in the house, the parents controlled both our incomes. They forced me to deposit the money in a joint account, which had his father as the primary account holder. The husband never backed me up and insisted that I follow their rule. Any monetary gift, material gift that was given to me by any friends or family his and mine were taken away by his mother, and he was ok with that. He was a heavy gambler, and I have been under the burden of his gambling debts. He has even been caught stealing at places of work and continuously lost his job. Due to this, the parents made me feel that I would never be able to make it in this country as a single parent and continuously refused to let me leave. The family took money from me for their business, but until today I have not seen a penny in return, my mother kept saying that I should not worry and she would support my children and me and was taking my salary so she could save for our future. Of course, until today, I had not seen any of that monetary support, even when she knew I had no job for almost a year and was struggling to put one child through college. I have been supporting my two children all their life. When my children were born, neither the husband nor the parents were present. During my 1st child, I was alone, and during the 2nd child, my 1st born was with me in the hospital. My OB/GYN doc did not see the father even once when I was pregnant the 2nd time round. However, my children are both very happy after I have moved out. There is a property that was bought during the period when we lived together, but his parents forced me to put their name on the property as co-owners. His name is not on the property. He and his parents still live there. We both still reside in NYC. My two children live with me. There is a property that was bought during the period when we lived together, but his parents forced me to put their name on the property as co-owners. His name is not on the property. He and his parents still live there, and I want to ensure that my children get their rightful share of the property. When we were together, we had nothing together. Not even a bank account. If I wanted to file for a divorce in the country of marriage, can I do that, and will that divorce be valid in NY State? If it would get accepted, will I be able to get at least 50% of the property if I file a case against them in NY state after the divorce? 

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