Primarily servicing the greater New York City metropolitan area



LEONARD M.WEINER, ESQ, Ph.D.
DIVORCE SOLUTIONS
206 East 38th Street
New York, N.Y. 10016
(212) 370-1660

MISCELLANEOUS

Question #1: Leading cause of divorce in the secular world?

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Question #2: I live in the state of Oklahoma, Tulsa co. When is it legal to date during the divorce period? Some have told me right after filing a person can date, but I am unsure. Thank you.

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Question #3: I am on social services and want to divorce my estranged wife and was refused legal aid. What else can I do?

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Question #4: What should I do if my religion does not permit a divorce ?

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Question #5: 1.What is the negative effect on emotional divorce of children if their parents divorce? 2.What are the long term effects of the divorce on the children? 3.How are children from divorced cases different from other families? Thank you .

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Question #6: What is the biggest effect on the kids?

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Question #7: I am currently in a bitter divorce proceedings in Texas. My husband of 8 years, does not want to get a divorce. I am active duty. My husband assaulted me, after telling me that he would never grant me a divorce. I had a co-worker take pictures. After he took the pictures he shot it up my chain of command. When my husband got called in (he is civilian) he filed adultery charges through the military against me and a mutual male friend. In the mean time my husband put a tap on my phone with out my knowledge. My question is can the conversations on an illegal interception on wire communications allowed in the divorce proceedings? He also informed me that he had tapped conversations and I feel he is black mailing me. What can I do? My attorney is currently out of town. Thanks.

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Question #8: Pertaining to separation and/or divorce, are there any laws in the state of New Jersey that prohibit boyfriend or girlfriend from staying overnight when children are present? Do you have access to a listing of Mediators in the state of New Jersey?

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Question #9: I am in the process of separation right now with my husband of three years. We live in NC and have a two year old son. I don't want this to be any harder than it has to. Can the one year separation period be waived? If it can what is your personal opinion on the effects on the child due to separation period and no separation period?

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Question #10: What recourse do I have if after my spouse and I arrive at a settlement, he reneges?

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Question #11: My wife of 17 years (we have been living together for 30 years) has been secretly having a lesbian affair for 6 years. She can't choose between us, but I have told her that I can't share her. I want out of the marriage. She insists that she doesn't want to loose me, but she won't make a choice! She wants her cake and pie! We own some property jointly and have jointly owned investments. What now?

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Question #12: My wife of 17 years (we have been living together for 30 years) has been secretly having a lesbian affair for 6 years. She can't choose between us, but I have told her that I can't share her. I want out of the marriage. She insists that she doesn't want to loose me, but she won't make a choice! She wants her cake and pie! We own some property jointly and have jointly owned investments. What now?

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Question #13: My wife & I are divorcing after 4 1/2 years. We purchased two dogs at the same time shortly after wedding. We have decided to each take one dog and even agree on who gets which one. However, my wife insists on visitation of my dog. We live in New York and have no children. Can't we each take our respective dog and go on our separate way, or will the court complicate things and tie me to this woman with pet visitation for the life of my dog??!!

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Question #14: Hey,I don't have a question, but I just wanted to thank you for having such a great service....you are "Da Man\

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Question #15:

I live in NY State. I have been married for about 14 years and have one child of 9 years age. My husband served me divorce papers this year on the grounds of "cruel and inhuman treatment". Last year, I signed a Post Marital Agreement. I am employed for the past three or four years, however, accumulated enormous debt (to a tune of 55000 dollars). Is this post marital agreement valid and thus i will become ineligible for the house (which is in his name) and his retirement benefits?




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Question #16:

My ex wife and I got divorced 3 months ago, the divorce took two months , because we did not have a lot of money; we went thru one lawyer.

She committed adultery and we went for cruel and inhumane.The house was in my name and she signed over the house to me in our contract.

Now I have fallen in love with someone and she has moved in. Now my ex wants part of the house... The divorce judgment has been filed for three months and now my girlfriend and I are putting money into the house to fix it...Can she change her mind after the divorce after it is final??



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Question #17:

My friend is in the process of getting a divorce in New York. He and his wife filed already. They have not lived together for 5 years, but they were not "legally separated" because of money problems and such. They both now have significant others and he wants to marry once his divorce is final. How long does he have to wait to get married? They have one child and there was no trouble deciding who will stay with the child and how much he would send for child support. They established the amount together. If there is a required waiting period to marry someone else, is there anything that can be done to make it shorter? Thank you very much.




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Question #18:

What is the wait time from time of filing to filing final paper work if nothing is disagreed upon in the state of NY?





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Question #19:

I don't think you are able to help me. I have a restraining order against

my husband and we have been separated for almost a year. We both live in

Washington state but he is from NY and is flying back there this week. I

believe he is going to try and file divorce there with the help of his

family, who aren't entirely honest people. I have had to hold off on the divorce because of immigration issues. I am from Canada and am self-petitioning. He does not see the kids, or pay child support. If i had my

way he could just stay in NY. I was just wondering how I defend myself if

he files there. I don't think mediation is the answer for us. If you can

help in any way further, and can refer me to someone who can, I would

appreciate it though. Thank you very much for your help.


Oh and his girlfriend is pregnant and he wants the divorce done quickly and

in the state of Washington its a minimum 92 days then proceedings. So I

think that's why he is doing it out there. Again, Thank you for your help.




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Question #20:

My husband and I have been separated (not a legal separation) for about 6 years now. We both live in NYC and got married in NYC. I want to file for divorce but I don't know his social security number. I have a last known address for him. I know for a fact that he won't contest the divorce but he will not give me his SS#. Can I still file divorce papers?



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Question #21:

My sister and her husband had a legal separation from the state of Connecticut, with division of assets, etc. She told me she had a will. She died suddenly in an accident. Her "husband" discarded all her documents at her home. He reverted to a will that was made 5 years earlier when they were living together in North Carolina and everything went to him. Can this be done when the parties are legally separated?



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Question #22:

Recently my ex-husband passed away. Our son who is 18 has applied for Administrator of his estate. He is the only child my ex-spouse has. In the mean time we found out that he had been married after we divorced and never divorced the second wife. They were married in Sept. of 1996 (in New York) and she left the marriage after only 3 months. (It is going on 7 years now that they have not been together.) Now that he has passed away she wants my son to sign an agreement saying that he will not contest her status as his wife, but this means she will get EVERYTHING (the estate is worth less than 50,000) and he NOTHING. I find this so unfair and believe that there should be some law or something that could protect my college bound son. Thank you so much.




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Question #23:

My friend lives in NY State and her husband recently has moved out, leaving

her with 2 children, one of whom is disabled and needs fulltime care. She does

not work outside the home. She was planning on visiting me in another state for a week so she can pull herself together. Her husband has agreed to watch the children while she is gone. Is there anything she should do before leaving to ensure he doesn't claim abandonment or something else to make matters worse? All of this has just happened and she has not met with a lawyer yet although she has contacted a few to get some information.




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Question #24:

my lawyer claims my divorce papers were sent to judge to be signed and finalized . said it will take up to 2 months to get back. he has told me many of times was sent in before but lied. i think this time he is lying again; how can i check for myself to make sure it was sent in as he said? i live in new york.



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Question #25:

A co-worker is married but wants out of the marriage. He lives and works in New York, and his wife lives and works in Florida. They don't communicate at all, and have not seen each other in almost a year. I believe they have one or two children together, but he hasn't seen or talked to the children since he left. What does he have to do to get a divorce?



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Question #26:

My husband and I have been married for one year and agree the marriage isn't working. We have decided to legally separate, which will result in divorce. If both of us agree, is it appropriate to date?




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Question #27:

Are we legally separated?


5 years ago my wife and I split up (in New York). We didn't use attorneys (too expensive for us) Instead we used a template from another divorce and modified it to fit our needs. We signed it in front of a notary, and filed it at the county clerk's office for $5.00.


Someone said to me it may not be legal because an attorney didn't review it. I'd say it is.


What do you think? What do you think would happen if either of us filed for divorce?





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Question #28:

How long does it take to have an uncontested divorce processed by the court system in New York after the papers are signed by both parties?

Is there anything that can be done to expedite the court process (such as an expediting fee)?



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Question #29:

My husband filed for an uncontested divorce; a judgment was granted in May 2003. My husband didn't file the divorce papers with the Ulster County clerk, therefore the papers were never certified. The clerks office does not have a record of the divorce and I have not received any documents. Am I still considered legally married? Is there a time frame in which these forms must be returned and certified to be valid? Will I have to file for Divorce again? Also, he re-married in an Islamic ceremony and is living with a woman as husband and wife, what do I do? Please help!



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Question #30: My divorce story is very unusual and almost from a cheap horror category. I have been married for 16 years, for the past 13 years lived in Texas in Tarrant County. During this time I have been supported by my husband, although in 1993 I aquired some shares in a computer company run by my brother in Poland. From time to time I have traveled to Poland to visit my parents, my brother his family and to see how the business was doing. My husband did not object to such activities; on the contrary he has encouraged them. So when my brother asked me to oversee the business for a while my husband was all for it. He provided me with an airline ticket, advising to take as much time as I need to help my brother. My husband and I were in touch through the phone and E-mails for several months, and nothing indicated what he had planned. One day the letter has arrived to my parents' apartment from the Texas Court, it was a Final Decree of Divorce. From it I found out I have been divorced, and he has been awarded the house which we have bought together, and almost everything we owned. I have been awarded the business in Poland( apparently he has lied to the Court making it believe I have been making a fortune ) which has not generated for me any income. I have been awarded the rental place!( another lie, to make the Court believe I owned the place of business) in which my brother has been running the business and my personal belongings. The credit cards have been cancelled. I have been left homeless and penniless, overnight and in a foreign country. I left for my trip with one suitcase, all of my papers such as social security number and everything else of importance has been left in the house, my valuable jewelry, pieces of art etc.. How was it possible for him to get a divorce, without my participation in the proceedings, how did he convince the Court of not awarding me anything of value after such a long marriage? It has been almost two years after the Divorce. I have been in deep depression just coming out of it, still staying in Poland, asking for advice, what should I do? He has cut any contact with me. I cannot even reclaim my personal belongings. Please do advise me what are my legal options. Could you recommend an attorney who could take the case against my liar husband ( or against the State of Texas) on the contingency fee basis?




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Question #31:

My husband and I got married in Las Vegas on October 11, 2003. We were just buddies, we knew it wasn't a good idea but we did it anyway. We've had enough now and we need a divorce.


He loves the conveniences my income provides him, but he's not in love with me. We purchased nothing since we married (so there's nothing to split or divide between us). We have no children either.


I now know that he has a serious drinking problem (he openly admits it and is seeking outpatient help). Unfortunately, his drinking has interfered with his relationships for as long back as he can remember and he is not succeeding with any of the programs he's tried.


Frighteningly, when he drinks, he is also very violent. He has been so with me as well, to the point where I've embarrassingly had to call the police to quiet him down (twice) upon my return home from the hospital after having suffered a near fatal heart attack.


Since my return from the hospital 2 weeks ago, he has been drunk on 3 separate occasions (last night being the most recent). His drinking is highly dangerous to my condition considering the cardiologist told him I was not to be upset in any way. Needless to say, I've been taken back to cardiac ICU by ambulance since my release as a direct result of his drinking behavior.


His ex-wife and two boys live a few blocks away from us. Now that I have met his ex-wife, I can say clearly that she is a fine person that has done an excellent job single-handedly raising their two boys.


I have not told my family (my parents, uncles, colleagues) that I have married this man because I know this will not last. I thought it best to divorce quietly and for us each to get on with our lives.


He is in agreement. He is very sad about not being able to succeed with his sobriety and states that he understands that I must move on.


Tell me how much this will cost since we're not arguing against each other and are in agreement. We live on Staten Island.



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Question #32: My boyfriend and I live in columbia county ny and his wife lives in schoharie county ny. They have a legal separation since 1985. They have 2 children who have been with foster parents since then. Their ages are 20 and 21 at this time. She filed for a divorce a week ago. My question is do you think they could be divorced by May 7, 2005 ? We are planning a wedding by then should I put it off?


Thank you



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Question #33:

My mother is in need of getting old divorce papers she filed back in 1981.

She was divorce in the state of New York. She is in need of those papers,

where can she get those papers? Thank you for your help.



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Question #34: I would like to ask, what is the time frame to remarry after you signed the divorce papers? I reside in NYC, and just recently signed my divorce papers in May. I want to remarry right away, but don't know how long I have to wait. My Ex and I did an uncontested divorce, but he wont give me anymore info about it, so I would like to know, how long I have to wait.
Thank you

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Question #35: SERVICE OF PROCESS

Can you tell me if it is possible to personally serve a defendant in Kazakhstan ? A family member who is not party to the divorce is going to meet with the husband in October. It is a little like an international spy game, the wife has only a cell phone number for the husband for the past two years and he wires money for support of the children, but is otherwise untraceable.
He cannot be lured back to NY to accept service and court previously rejected service by publication.
Any ideas on how to approach this?

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Question #36: COURT COSTS


My lawyer told me that because of increased court costs, it will cost me $150 more now. Can you just tell me if the filing costs have really gone up?

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Question #37: I live in Brooklyn NY. I served my husband with divorce papres last February 15 in court for my my husband's appearence regarding a Family Court Order of Protection I'd gotten on him. After this he broke that Order, as well as the Criminal court order of protection given me for breaking that one. I was advised to plea bargain him by both my lawyer, and the Brooklyn DA on the case, for the breaking of both Orders, so as to save his NYC Fire Marshal job, which I did do. I am , however , extremely worried now if that was the right thing to do, as I thought my lawyer had intended on our bringing the real charges against him later on, as he kept telling me one step at a time when I would explain to him my fears, and the new threats I'd discovered my husband implemented. i'd only found out other charges were not brought against him when the DA told me the night before I was advised to Plea bargain him, that there weren't any other charges (even though I'd explained everything that happened to the precinct detectives and D A on a couple occasions. The DA kept telling me I should bring him my evidence, yet never allowed me to by just stringing me along till the night before he was to be plea bargained for breaking the Orders. My husband was, however made to go into a batterers program by the judge,but now my lawyer seems to think its ok to settle the visitation aspect of our divorce with unsupervised visits after 90 days of supervised visits with my sister. My kids fear him, as well do I, but I am told I could always go back to Family court if somethings not working out with regard to his doing anything. . I am also advised that I need not worry about my Order of Protection as if he does anything I should just call the police I am advised. But that scares me too, because he likes to sabatage my house and cars sneakily, or follow me etc. and I so I cant catch him that easily. You see, he had also stolen a FDNY surveillience camera from his Fire Marshal job on the down low I am told, to use on me (as i had suspected he had in the past) , as well as another unsuspecting female who came to me and told me he drugged her to video having sex with him, without her knowledge , I assumed to get back at me because I discovered his recorders. He had his police buddy edit it and put it on a official NYC police DVD which just happened to all fall in my lap. I hadn't even known what i had at the time (this time last year) because he told me it was just another of his tape recorders he had on me at first. After all my complaints to the civiliant complaint review board ( as his threats to throw away his job by doing something crazy, or to use it against me and other's, as well as to kill people, forced me to seek help because people were actually following me and trying to get what I had found. so I literally went for my Order of protection out of sheer fear, even though he kept changing his mind back and forth as to whether he wanted it back then, or not. Investigators from OCCB did come to speak to me twice regarding the cop's involvement, as well to look at the DVD ...yet no one ever came to speak to me about my husband ..the main culprit, even though I was told they would. My husband had been extremely physically, mentally and emotionally abusive to me for years right in front of my chlidren , having hit me, choked me, and punched me on numerous occasions., as well as breaking things in the house directly and sneakily. I really thought he'd lost his mind from when he worked as a corrections officer, (as he'd often grab me the way an officer would grab an inmate), or from 9/11, or from alcohol. I thought he didn't know what he was doing when he'd get so abusive and threatening and crazy. which is why there are only three police reports since 2002. I was always afraid to call the police on him. He would gaslight me and make me think I was crazy and that he could read my mind as he had often tape recorded the house, cars, and phones on and off for years...all of which I now happen to have him on tape admitting to. But my lawyer never wanted to even hear any of it and now even is advising that I give the FDNY camera back to my husband , who told me he had bought another to replace it until he returned the one with serial numbers on it..... His lawyer had told mine six months ago hat he had to get the camera back then to save his job...But I knew they'd never fire him just from all he'd already gotten away with. I'd found out just before plea bargaining him last June that the FDNY is claiming they know nothing about any missing camera now....yet my husband is threatening me about it still today, and we're not even supposed to talk because of my Order of Protection, but we have been because I am trying to reach a settlement in our divorce case without us financially losing everything, of which I feel like I am on trial because I seem to have to constantly prove truths, and disprove his lies to my lawyer. Its been since last February and today was the first meeting ever with him and hus lawyer to discuss things, as depositions have been constantly cancelled and pushed ahead ( by his lawyer...my lawyer says...by my lawyer ,my husband says) I am told by my lawyer that I do not want to go to trial. Implying that it will cost more than we can afford, as my husband showed up last February after the order of protection with a high priced lawyer. I even have my husband admitting to forcing himself on me and threatening to kill people and have them arrested on tape, as well as breaking both Orders of protection. When the police came each time he broke the Orders of Protection to arrest him , they changed their minds once they saw who he was, as he knows many in that precinct because its where his Marshal base is. Had I not persisted and gotten cameras around my house to video him breaking the order, or tape him breaking it , he wouldn't even have been arrested for either of those. He'd deliberately put himself in rehab for alcoholism three times prior to all this just because he'd attacked me in a candy store and the police were called by patrons who pulled him off me (all because i discovered he had a date). He was arrested for breaking through our own rental property not long after his third stay in rehab (and third time he was thrown out of the sober houses the FDNY made me force him to stay in, instead of allowing him home which at the time I thought only angered him more towards me , but was really just a way to afford him the ability to come here sneakily and begin taping me and videoing me again (as after his third , thirty day rehab stays, when I caught him cheating with someone he met there, he came home being abusive and then urged me to find someone else because he didn't want to hurt me anymore he said and wanted me to be happy and for us to do our own thing, as he'd done before.) But Right now my biggest worry is that my lawyer is urging me to settle without supervised visits of my three kids who wont even pick up the phone to his court scheduled times to call daily, and fear his temper, and drinking, and haven't seen him since last january because the one time a supervised visit was even scheduled with my sister as superviser, he ended up having to work he said afterward. When he calls they wont get on the phone and he tells me not to force them to. They anger at me for even talking with him for fear he will "trick " me again they say. I am trying to settle our issues so as not to hurt either of us.


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Question #38: I was divorced in New York state in July where I used to reside. I was to pay maintenance if my ex husband kept some martial debt paid and he had a time frame in which to do this. He never was in the timeframe that the stipulations of the divorce called for. I started paying the bills and never sent any maintenance. He has filed an order of enforcement in New York. We both live in Florida now and he has been here since July 2008 and I moved here in May 2007. Can I have that moved to a Florida court now since we both reside in Florida and have been here longer than 6 months which does establish residency. Should I go to a lawyer in Florida to have it moved to a court here? Anxiously awaiting a reply since I have to be in court by March 17. Thanks for your assistance.


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Question #39: I'm hoping you can help me! How do I go about finding if a divorce has been filed. My fiance has been away from his wife for 8 yrs. I have done searches for her with married name, but she comes back with pre-married name. She has deed with another male and children associated with her. We want to get married and don't know where to start finding if she divorced him. Can you please help guide me? Thank you for your assistance.


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